Brane Storm Brewin'

2006-08-31

If'n you haven't already figgered it out, Jasper's my man. Now he was a mite bit uneasy about that at first. I'll admit, I'm not 'zactly a svlete svetle skinny woman.

Still, my heart's in the rite place and I'm a-learnin' from Jasper how to git other things in the right places 'n times. And I do know shorely take good care of him, make shore he's fed and all, and keep his clothse clean and all that woman stuff.

Now me and Pearl Rose, we're purdy well edumacated. We wuz in school fer nine 'er ten years if you put 'em all together. Heck, I made it clear thru thurd grade before I got married the furst time! But my Jasper, he's a whole 'nother kind of edumacated. Why, a coupla years ago this feller drove rite up to our place in a big truck, purdy as you please, and jest parked it right out front. While me and Pearl Rose wuz tryin' to keep him from runnin' off, thinkin' to give him some of our better medicines, he wuz too big a feller to hold, even with both of us workin' on him. He high-tailed it outta there before we could git him to drink anythin' or get his keys or anything.

While we wuz tusslin' with this feller, though, Jasper, purty as you please, slipped right in there and unhooked the trailer from the truck. So when the feller took off fast as a greased pig chasin' after a mud hole, that feller drove off leavin' the trailer right there in our yard!

Well, you know he kept a-circlin' and a circlin', but there waren't no way he could get to it without gettin' past all of us. And with Jasper's smarts workin it all out, why, he had the thing opened and we had everything unloaded just like that! Naturally this feller called the poleese, but the poleese don't know 'bout our Shine Celler, which is where everything goes until any fuss dies down. And since it was his word and nothin' more, and we's got a purty good repu- repoo- People thinks we's okay folks. See, with all our edumacashun, we's smart, too.

That's how we got this here com-peyoo-ter. And my Jasper, he figgered it all out. Pushed a button to turn it on and after I made him get rid of all them dirty pixchures, he found some books and got us this Inner-Net and here we is! Now and then he still finds a dirty pixchure, but he clicks on the little red X mark and deletes it jest fine. I guess that other feller didn't have any wimmen of his own, but Jasper, he's got me, so he don't need no pixchures.

Anyways, since we got this here Inner-Net, Jasper found this place called ee-baey. He says it's about buyin' and sellin' stuff, and that we can sell all those family jewels we've been puttin' back fer a while. Since he's so smart, I figger we'll make maybe twenty whole dollers, what with people seein' what we've got.

Me and Pearl Rose figger if we're real careful, we can maybe even show up our sister Ruby Rose, with her hoity-toity dubble-wide trayler. She thinks she's so special, but she ain't got my Jasper's smarts, and neither does any of her husbinds. But that's a story for another time.

I need to go talk to Jasper and Pearl Rose. I got me an idear. Our momma and daddy will be proud. Or they would be if they wuz still alive, and if'n they didn't think of it furst.

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